Dancing with the Wolves -Bipolar Disorder poem :)

Dancing With Wolves

I always felt like this visitor trapped inside my own mind Through every corridor, every dark corner, and all the wrong turnsI have all these intense feelings that come at once And I just can't communicate them the way I want It is so easy for people to feel at fault, or to run away I wish I could explain the answer and then they could stay I hate hurting people and I hate fucking up If I could rewind the clock and go back And just be prepared and say what I could have said But the chaotic feelings that are like two separate souls that fight over one body It is hard to slow down and come back down to earth I care too much and I feel too much I love too much and that's the problem I act like a hater and full of so much anger The amount of injustice and shit in this world. I am a stranger to the warzone inside my own head at times. I want to feel joy and I want to make a mark. But I am dancing on a mountain cliff so very high The crash comes crashing down like a fall from the stars to the earth One giant landing has me shattered to pieces Nobody to pick them up and nobody to see the damage done If I could start again, if I could run a million miles away and be someone else. Someone specific. Some good for a change. But I am here. Dancing with fire. Playing with lightening and wind. I am gasping for air and hanging onto hope for a new chance and beginning. Hanging on by a thread and learning to let go at the same time. I am dancing with the wolves and the wolves are surrounding me. I recognize my own shadow unaware of my own danger around me. I trust the wolves so much that I just kept dancing. I someday hope to break free & that you can meet and love the real me.

Random Crap I couldn’t put into proper poetry about the positive side to coming back to being in the world.

No longer give into the madness. Never become used to the sadness.You’re now the analyst looking down at your life. You know the answers and why you felt this way for so long. It’s time to break free from your thoughts that hold you back and love the person who needs the healing and guidance. Some days are harder than others. The moments of guilt and pure shame, or knowing what you had said or done has left you alone and in remorse. But have faith that time will heal those wounds and the wounds you need to heal first are the ones that the fire burned through. Love on a soul level will never fade away But if you don’t glow bright, and take care, you will fade to black and never really heal. Most fall off the wagon sometimes, it’s not the end but the beginning of reviewing your value on your life. So easy to be influenced by the wrong people and ways when you just want to feel well. But these devils in disguise will seduce you into hell. You can fall many times, and its never going to be too late. But you can succeed in the end and be like everyone else and not a tragic and crazy disaster. Dancing with the wolves is like spontaneous games of Russian Roulette. Just dance with yourself & use this beautiful energy to dance yourself and feel free. But touched with the burning flame of the fire, our minds are alive and racing. Our bodies are energetic and we have so much to give to the world we can’t take all at once. The complexity of our lives and minds are only scary when we fall, but fall without a landing and without learning how to land. It will become to a stage where people won’t even question, or notice and you will succeed. Everybody is broken and damaged in their own way. Everybody has a story and rarely people listen. To be seen one way, but never truly heard. To thrive on the better days and memories that made you feel like forever would be safe. Fight for those days and show yourself with pride. Because sometimes we become so lost inside our mind, the way out becomes hard to find. The conscience can give us a hard time, and hold us back from thriving. If only we could fix what’s in limbo and be truly heard for what was meant. That our passion and desire is nothing but a good intention. But we were not the person we really are, and self reflection became quite ugly. We can be the change and show humility which is a strength. The world may view apologies as weak, but an apology can not only be read, but sincerely felt. The journey and path we walk is our own and we can take control. No fancy label slapped to the forehead should stop us from being defined. Everybody is fighting something sometimes. We just need to learn how to grow & heal. People will understand and someday they will see, that nothing bad that we said or had ever done was intended to be.

Keep your soul dancing in the bright light of a safe flame. Dance beautifully with grace and dance until you find solace. But dance without spontaneous games of Russian roulette. Learn to live and and open your eyes and really see the soul behind the demons that held you hostage. Now you finally know who you are. Looking down from up here. You play the role of the analyst, the watcher, the master of your destiny. The road goes on, and nobody has to be left behind. A true celebration of success and the rest can follow from behind. There will be potholes and dents and curves in the road at times. But life is life, and our emotional skin is thin. We can build that resilience, and achieve what we want to achieve. So many famous people succeed despite their torture. Our world is our playground and it’s time to break free from the one true torture chamber- our own head. Let’s keep on living, and know that hope is never dead.