Capricorn Moons

I have a heart that's made of glass

It's easy to break and fall apart

But the edges are sharp 

And fragile as much as it is hard to crack open

And with one cut, I could make you feel the pain inside

I buried so deep and emotionally apart of me had died

That the love I feel is protected in numbing it to a death point

Because if my trust is betrayed, any life left in me will be decayed

I don't want to hurt you with my cold and glassy heart

Fallen into a million little pieces, dangerous to touch 

The fragments of my life, my pain that fell onto the floor

I love you so much, my coldness is to protect yourself

The cut that can run deep and a bandaid won't stop the bleeding

That your wound is open, it is fresh and I never meant to cause this

I am unable to express my true meaning and one wrong turn

I will bury myself inside a cave or rock

I don't want to love and lose, i want to love and have

And be the best you deserve

But my heart froze over like a snow storm had swept me away

My ability to feel the love and accept it was like this chore of hard work

Not knowing what I deserved, or how to show you your worth

The agonising end, that was no end became my dear friend

And then I made you leave in pain,
as I was wounded, crestfallen i made your sunshine  turn into rain

I mourn the part of me that died

So many times in the past I had cried

And the tears that became a sea of sadness
The repressed and indescribable madness

From the same broken feelings, over and over
I felt like my life was a damaged four leaf clover
A crimson sea of regret that my heart had bled
and no more tears were able to be shed

I had felt like was hard work and happiness was no prize
And all the pain I had felt and left behind, was hard to rise
Knowing that I left a piece of you with a wound in need of care
That my blood stained heart is broken with so much damage to repair

That I built a wall to protect me like the Trojan people had impossible to break down
My guard is up, it's all or nothing and love is a fight, or patient wait, like a diamond crown

But the  barriers are strong, resilient and afraid to let you in if you haven't been before
Because nothing cuts as deep as the knife of betrayal, and the pain of so much more