You could spread your arms like wings and fly
An audience is invisible and their pleas i don't hear
To get down and back and that safety is near
Like sounds far away, i dismiss the danger i am putting my life into by this moment i feel
I felt free and capable and not held down by the fears people would feel
I felt as powerful as an eagle to sore down and fly away
Unaware of how detached my own mind had its own way
I never thought who could catch me if i was to fall
The thought of consequences were not there at all
How a mental state had got me this way
Found on a ledge, and just the other day
Naked and looking for a lake to swim
The heat and the mind that thoughts were racing so fast i needed to strip down to be bare
A raving lunatic screaming for it to stop
But a soul in great disarray
No comfort or focus to save me from the last of my dignity, nobody to call the ambulance and make me sedate
For time went on and i look back its too late
I have supervision and sedation and realise that my freedom and power was just me sick
And that friends ran away in fear of the girl who was naked and screaming and crying for her mind to shut up
That this was something that one day will be apart of my journey to management and success
But as its the end of 2018, i sit in distress
Embarrassing and intervention was not used
That meds are what make me someone ok right now
And that i am afraid to be away and that people forget the girl i was
2018 reminded me of the old days
When we make bad choices and have no help and we escalate
So please take care of yourselves before you are unable to control your mind and be understood
That just because life is meant to have a happy ending doesn't mean it would
It just always should
That the episode feels like your definition but its not. Its one part and tears are the river your self forgiveness is drowning in
People always go and it's time to accept that it is needed to accept there is managing the high and low.
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