My Memoirs of Ana & Mia

I have a heart that's made of glass It's easy to break and fall apart But the edges are sharp  And fragile as much as it is hard to crack open And with one cut, I could make you feel the pain inside I buried so deep and emotionally apart of me had died That the love I feel is protected in numbing it to a death point Because if my trust is betrayed, any life left in me will be decayed I don't want to hurt you with my cold and glassy heart Fallen into a million little pieces, dangerous to touch  The fragments of my life, my pain that fell onto the floor I love you so much, my coldness is to protect yourself The cut that can run deep and a bandaid won't stop the bleeding That your wound is open, it is fresh and I never meant to cause this I am unable to express my true meaning and one wrong turn I will bury myself inside a cave or rock I don't want to love and lose, i want to love and have And be the best you deserve But my h...

Change Change is a concept that is often something to cling onto, To promise yourself, that it's going to happen, one more time is fine Or change is only on the surface. What we see around us, learn from, make look different. But deep inside our souls, pain is no obstacle to overcome. It's apart of our journey that we learn to live with each day, ride with and make apart of who we become and what we learn from. Change is something that begins a transition period. People fear change. It's an emotional rollercoaster and change is challenging in ways of life, routine, systems & what we become immune too. Change is not going to be avoided. If you remain paralysed in life, stand still and refuse to move or grow, then the world around you and people will and that each lesson and mistake is worth learning from, even if the step was not forward, nor backward and nowhere. It's still changing something within yourself.

My heart is glass, and sharp to touch it makes blood & pain hard to escape Dead inside my own body, dark inside my own mind The sadness that I endure knowing the knife deep stab wounds that my love could bring To protect you with my love, inside a glass heart  Is fragile, easily broken & could tear you right apart 

i think of all the times we shared, not just in person, but the ones we used to get through the nights The sounds of silence that scream out loudly that we need the connection, & the glare from the street lights. They shine down the road, of both our streets, it shows life outside, and that alone is how we just feel so your talks, your listening, and needing a friend, was some soul dedication i'd protect to the end That it's not the kind of thing you fear, your impact, those moments we did share, they calmed my fear and I don't forget sweet words you said. A charmer, a gentleman, sweet talker, or maybe just the real you. Stripped from the insecurities that eat you alive,  that you never knew how else to survive The way that brought structure to the day, your active life. The people that twisted a blade through your back with a bloody knife. The backstabbers that were best friends, family that wanted you to fall, The pain you endured, and shared right away, it ...

Today was the day the wounds burned too deep.  Today was the day that this life I could not keep. Today was the day that I killed the pain.  Today was the day I left this world in vain. Today was the day I let go i stopped caring at all, Today was the day I made that final fall  Today was the day I left behind life, I quietly died. Today was the day my sorrow lead me to suicide.

I have never fit into the box this generation, or "millennials" are. I cannot connect to a photo, therefore do not use tinder. I am not into being a famous social status on social media, i post about astrology, deep issues, advocate issues people are afraid to talk about and post selfies that could be considered unique, and not typical. I don't put many friends up, i rarely go out anymore and have no close siblings, or earn a huge income to show off a life of travel, beach vacations and dreams. I do have dreams, i have connections (emotional and spiritually) and i have battled the grips of mental illness, sexual assault, loneliness, addiction and chronic pain. I refuse to let that make me become a stereotypical version, but i have to say i have let stigma grow by not being the person who had it under control. I hate people who feel they need to say love yourself first, or profound advice that is not anything to do with what you are feeling. I don't date for 3 months ...