My Memoirs of Ana & Mia

rebeccaanne___ I tried to conceal the pain you made Behind a brave fabricate But you took the feeling from my soul And let me fall into a lonely hole I tried to hide the wounds by using my body to sell my soul All my scars were burrowed deep inside And the painful sentiments that my heart yearned for and cried Memories of the girl that was strong, brave and a warrior To trust the wrong person, a man of evil, i couldn't be sorrier I didn't want this stupid trauma  I didn't want to be hiding in some dark corner You took away apart of my life, apart of who i was You made me lose my friends, you made me hide away from life You made me someone I couldn't recognise in the mirror You made me someone that no longer shone or could shimmer You are a beast, a bad man, a criminal and you're truly evil No amount of punishment could be pay back compared to the pain I have to conceal You don't deserve life on earth. You vulgar and misogynistic asshole You lied...

when you’re ready, when you’re there! REBECCA ADAMS · TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2018 An excuse is not a reason, but justifying something and living with humiliation is because you know actions and impulsive moves or messaging was completely random but self expressive. That trying to fix a problem can leave you remaining in limbo. Trying to fix and say sorry again, but then making it worse in your own mind and unsure how to rewind and put together the exact nail on the head words to hit the person and be able to be happy. It is misunderstood and intentions so good can be seen as a way someone decides to perceive. Humility becomes humiliation. Your mind is a million miles an hour. How did a conversation become so dominated by emotions and the past? How did your mind make you feel you were in a particular time and relive it again? Is it a dream? Or you confuse reality with your own mind and you say what you wish you said over and over. You learn too little, too late....

"Since the age of 9, i clenched my fists From the final post, a razor to the wrist Art comes from some kind of pain and you are the one driving yourself insane The monsters that live inside my head They control my thoughts, make me wish i was dead I can't pretend I have hope. I can't live a lie.  i leave you here, with my sincerest goodbye "

I prayed for an angel to come down and take me away, to a safe haven, or place, for a few days to stay, to shelter me and comfort me through this chaos killing me, but this realisation was indeed freeing me, I no longer have to be a victim of my own head and the hate, I missed too many things, and it feels too late, but the day i reached out, things began to change again it's time to be the girl i had been, and for life to begin, It may take time for it all to be it's best.  But every new day has put me to the test. The battle is with my own self love. It's time to break the battle and remember who I was. No angel came down to me that day.  But the soft voice inside my head reminded me that everything will be okay. That all good things come to those who wait. And timing has no end, it's never too late. The moment I showed the side I want to be,  triumphs in my own life began to break free.  I know it will take a few months to be truly right. But th...

Dear Male Gender, I want to write a detailed letter expressing the truth about what sex is to a woman, when she opens her body up to you. Her naked body into your arms, and into your naked body on top or underneath her. She is opening up about her whole past, every sexual encounter and experience she has, whether it be the most beautiful and loving kinds, or some rather unpleasant kinds and we carry every scar, every trauma, every mark that the wounds like deep. The scars that burn our souls and our confidence as women. We are not sharing a naked body with you. We are making a mutual decision and trusting you to respect every part of us. To hold us in your arms and allow you to have your way with us with consent. It is the most amazing, sensual & secure feeling whether it is in a relationship, or it is for pure attraction. A woman's body holds every scar, every painful moment & every sentiment that we have lived through and experienced. We do not need to sit and tell y...

Dancing With Wolves I always felt like this visitor trapped inside my own mind Through every corridor, every dark corner, and all the wrong turnsI have all these intense feelings that come at once And I just can't communicate them the way I want It is so easy for people to feel at fault, or to run away I wish I could explain the answer and then they could stay I hate hurting people and I hate fucking up If I could rewind the clock and go back And just be prepared and say what I could have said But the chaotic feelings that are like two separate souls that fight over one body It is hard to slow down and come back down to earth I care too much and I feel too much I love too much and that's the problem I act like a hater and full of so much anger The amount of injustice and shit in this world. I am a stranger to the warzone inside my own head at times. I want to feel joy and I want to make a mark. But I am dancing on a mountain cliff so very high The crash comes crashing down...